The wedding speech specialists

Stag do top ten's

  1. Spanish – "Una cerveza por favour?" – A beer please?
  2. Portuguese – "Duas cervejas por favour?" – Two beers please?
  3. Latvian – "Daudz alus lūdzu." – Lots of beers please.
  4. Estonian – "Mis on telefoni number?" – What is your telephone number?
  5. Dutch – "Ow! dat doet pijn!" – Ow! That hurts!
  6. German – "...und bringen Sie bitte Ihre Schwester." - ...and please bring your sister.
  7. French – "Il a une éruption cutanée désagréable." – He has a nasty rash.
  8. Polish - "Pan młody będzie płacić za wszystko." – The groom will pay for everything.
  9. Slovakian – "Pomoc! Môj priateľ je v plameňoch!" – Help! My friend is on fire!
  10. Croatian – "Da li sukolica za kupovinu ja mogu voziti u?" - Do you have a shopping trolley I can ride in?
  1. Chained to a lamppost
  2. Chained naked to a lamppost
  3. The back of police car
  4. Prison
  5. Anywhere in France
  6. Under the groom
  7. At your ex's place
  8. At the end of Brighton pier with "Big Dave woz 'ere" tatttoed on your arse
  9. Skegness
  10. Peacefully in your own bed

As voted for by our Facebook fans

  1. Another One Bites The Dust - Queen
  2. White Wedding - Billy Idol
  3. Sympathy for the Devil - Rolling Stones
  4. It’s The End Of The World As We Know It - REM
  5. Girls Girls Girls - Motley Crue
  6. Funky Town - Lipps Inc
  7. Blessed Hellride - Black Label Society
  8. Love is a Battefield - Pat Benatar
  9. Story of a Lonely Guy - Blink 182
  10. Love is the End - Keane
  1. Newcastle
  2. Bristol
  3. Cardiff
  4. Bournemouth
  5. Brighton
  6. London
  7. Nottingham
  8. Manchester
  9. Blackpool
  10. Edinburgh
  1. Dublin, Ireland
    Those pretty Irish maids all in a row only add to the welcoming charms of the Emerald Isle's capitol city. How can anyone fail to have fun in the home of Guinness?
  2. Tallinn, Estonia
    How can so many stunning women live in one city? It's like walking around backstage at London fashion week. This medieval city also boasts many great bars, clubs and restaurants.
  3. Barcelona, Spain
    Las Ramblas, great beaches and those Spanish senoritas, Barcelona is a city that knows how to party.
  4. Amsterdam, Holland
    If you think this city needs an explanation then unfortunately we have to inform you that you clearly don't have the required knowledge to organise the proverbial "piss up in a brewery".
  5. Riga, Latvia
    This eastern European capital has all the charms and beauty of its female inhabitants. Bars, casinos and clubs all with a distinctly enticing Latvian flavour
  6. Algarve, Portugal
    Sun, sand, sea and golf courses, plenty of golf courses in fact. For a sun seeking stag do this one is hard to beat.
  7. Ibiza, Spain
    If you are looking for a wild weekend then this hedonistic party capital and jewel of the Mediterranean can't fail.
  8. Bratislava, Slovakia
    Another more unusual location but a city that has woken up to the stag market and created a veritable banquet of party fun for you and the rest of your stag.
  9. Prague, Poland
    Ever noticed how attractive Polish girls are? This cities full of 'em! Great nights out and plenty to keep your party entertained during the day whilst recovering from your night's exertions.
  10. Malaga, Spain
    Another great golfing and partying location, Malaga has it all, relaxing daytime getaways and a vibrant nightlife all well set up for British visitors.
  1. Paintball
  2. Go Karts
  3. Bubble Football
  4. Quad Biking
  5. Racing School
  6. White Water Rafting
  7. 4x4 Off Road Driving
  8. Mud Buggies
  9. Clay Pigeon Shooting
  10. Coasteering
  1. Convicts (it is his last night of freedom after all)
  2. Army Boot Camp
  3. Pimps
  4. Cops & Robbers
  5. Elvises (yes plural! Or should it be Elvi?)
  6. Superheroes
  7. Sporting Legends
  8. Toy Soldiers
  9. Heroes of Comedy
  10. Cartoon Capers
  1. Golfing Weekend
    For the competitive streak in you why not get a bit of Tiger Woods style action (minus the prostitutes, press exposure and loss of endorsements)
  2. Road Trip
    Hire some classic wheels or VW camper vans and take the groom on a road trip back down memory lane to all those happy places he's never going to be allowed to see again.
  3. Canal Barge
    3 men in a boat? Why not hire a couple of canal barges and find every fine hostelry along the way.
  4. European Trip
    The world's your lobster. See the big picture and go find yourselves a new playground to have fun in.
  5. Carry On Camping
    Tents, tinnies and tantrums. Can any stag do survive the riggers of a camping trip.
  6. Activities Weekend
    Quad biking, go cart racing, clay pigeon shooting, hovercraft racing. Why not visit one of many activities centres and do the whole lot?
  7. UK City Break
    Museums, art galleries, afternoon tea and landscaped gardens. Or drinking games, lap dancing clubs, and drunken debauchery on a city wide scale.
  8. Outward Bounds
    Remember getting packed off to one of those outward bound centres when you were at school and hoping after the archery, rock climbing and white water rafting you can get drunk on a litre bottle of cider and talk one of the girls into letting you put your hand up her jumper? Well there are now many outward bound centres that cater for stag parties at weekends.
  9. House Guests
    "They stayed in a house a very big house in the country..." Why not pack up all you need and find your own solitude away from the regular stag crowds and hire a holiday home for a weekend. We recommend BBQs and take-aways rather than suffer each other's cooking.
  10. Kidnap
    Try any of the above just don't tell the groom. Simply tell him what to pack, turn up on the day and bundle him in the back of a waiting car. Be sure to make it authentic and leave the bride a ransom note telling her where to pick him up and what the price of his safe return will be.
  1. Toy Soldiers
  2. Wax Attack
  3. Bra Vo
  4. Candid Cleavage
  5. Ben Hur
  6. Blind Man's Guff
  7. Knickers
  8. 3-Legged Pub Crawl
  9. Beer Bungee
  10. Posers

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