The Build Up
These days most couples plan their weddings with near military precision (although this is mostly down to the highly organised bride rather than the groom who finds himself asking questions like “But do we really need four swans?”). In among the madness you might get called upon to help out in your role as best man. Yep, sadly it’s not just about going on a brilliant stag do and then making cheap jokes about the groom’s dress sense/football team/virginity during your speech.
But your most important role during the build-up is keeping the groom sane. By now he’s living in a world of table plans, colour schemes and having to choose the best one out of 200 bridesmaid dresses that all look the same to him, it’s as alien to him as the idea of a sober stag do. As best man it’s down to you to save him and that will probably require fact finding mission to the pub… Now while that might sound flippant, there is some sense in there. The bride-to-be (never to be referred to as "Bridezilla" if unless you want to spend the wedding meal at on the kids table) the groom will need a sounding board. And probably a stiff drink.
The Stag Do
As Best Man it's down to you to organise the stag do. If you're stuck for ideas or simply want to make his last days as a single man truly unique and memorable then check out our tips and guide to organising a stag do of epic proportions.
Another vital role as best man is being responsible for getting the groom to the wedding so make sure you have organised all his travel arrangements for the big day. It’s also worth checking ahead to see if there are any road works or local events that might stop you getting him to the church on time.
Yes you will be wearing it but this isn't your big day, if you're asked for your thoughts on the wedding suits make sure you support the nearly-wed's decisions and put your own taste to one side. It's their big day after all.
Unless you hear the words "ruffled shirts" in which case call the fashion police immediately.
Best Man Trivia
On The Day
Get Him to the Church on Time
The main man might be as cool as a cucumber or rapidly heading towards total meltdown. No matter how nervous you might be about that speech he’s going to be feeling the strain much more than you. So stay cool and keep him calm. In times of stress a little humour can go a long way.
Above all make sure you get him there in plenty of time wearing the right suit and matching socks.
Organise the Ushers
There might be other groomsmen or ushers at the wedding who might be even more clueless than you are and no one else is going to get this rabble sorted so you need to take the lead especially if there are young children in the wedding party. Help keep any pages or flower girls relaxed (you're going to be slightly tied up once the ceremony starts so assign one of the groomsmen to lok after the little guys) and make sure everyone knows their role, what to do and when/where to do it.
Seems simple enough to look after the rings (although no doubt you'll be checking your pockets every five minutes) but here's one tip for you; it’s likely that either the bride or groom, will have shaking hands. When asked to present the rings rather than just hold out the ring box, have each ring ready and placed on the flat of your open palm so that the bride and groom are not having to fiddle around getting them out the box with trembling fingers.
You can pretty much guarantee that at the precise moment the photographer has finally got everyone assembled for that all important group photo someone will suddenly notice that the bride's favourite Aunty Ethel is missing. Wedding photos can often really drag out so yourself known to the photographer beforehand and offer your services as crowd control to get the right people ready for the right photos.
Master of Ceremonies
If the wedding doesn't have a professional master of ceremonies then be ready to step up to the plate and introduce the speeches.
Best Man's Speech
The poisoned chalice of having to be best man is both a blessing and a curse, whilst it is a great source of pride that your mate/brother/cousin has finally admitted that in fact YOU are the Best Man it now means you have to write that perfect Best Man's Speech... and then stand up in front of a room full of strangers and make everyone laugh whilst not offending the groom, bride, any of the parents, the grandparents, the vicar, etc.
If this is already causing you sleepless nights then fear no more as our Speech Builder could be the answer to all your worries.
Get the Party Started
Having wowed everyone with your brilliant speech of all time you are probably desperate to hit the bar for that well-earned drink and to bask in the limelight whilst contemplating your future career in sand-up comedy. Sadly there are still a few best man duties the perfect Best Man will attend to.
Once the new Mr & Mrs have had their first dance it is traditional for the Best Man to dance with the chief bridesmaid (as best man duties go this can either be a blessing or a very long 3 minutes depending on your dance partner). Even if you're not a dancing man make sure you help to break the ice and get the party started.
During the reception the bride and groom shouldn't be bothered with any concerns or queries that the DJ, caterers, bar staff, band, etc might have. Be on hand to answer any questions so the happy couple can enjoy their night.
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Is there are mountain of gifts building up on a table somewhere? Probably far too many for the bride and groom to carry on their own so with the help of the other groomsman and bridesmaids make sure the gifts are taken care of.
You can't let the newly-weds drive off into the sunset without turning a few heads so have some shaving foam, toilet roll, and lipsticks ready to pimp their ride.