The Build Up
Most modern couples plan their weddings with near military precision (although this is mostly down to the sensible bride rather than the hapless groom) however you might be called upon to help out and perform a few best man duties. Make sure you communicate regularly with the happy couple in the build up to their big day offering your services where required.
They have picked you for this huge honour for a reason so make sure you help out wherever you can.
Also you might find the groom is starting to break under the strain of having to choose the best one out of 200 dresses that all look the same to him and other assorted tasks he didn't see coming so offering to get him out on "wedding fact finding missions" to the local pub might be an invaluable help.
The Stag Do
As Best Man it's down to you to organise the stag do. If you're stuck for ideas or simply want to make his last days of freedom truly unique and memorable then check out our tips and guide to the perfect stag do.
Another of your best man duties is being responsible for getting the groom to the wedding so make sure you have organised all his travel arrangements for the big day. Its also worth checking ahead to see if there are any road works or local events that might get in the way come the big day.
Yes you will be wearing it but this isn't your big day, if called upon to help with the choice of suits for the groom's party make sure you support their decisions and put your own taste to one side.
Unless you hear the words "ruffled shirts" in which case call the fashion police immediately.
Best Man Trivia
On The Day
Get Him to the Church on Time
The main man might be as cool as a cucumber or he might be barely holding it together and rapidly heading towards total meltdown. No matter how nervous you might be about that speech sooner or later he is going to be feeling much more frayed than you. Stay cool and keep him calm. In times of stress a little humour can go a long way.
Above all make sure you get him there in plenty of time wearing the right suit and matching socks.
Organise the Ushers
There might be other groomsmen or ushers at the wedding who might be even more clueless than you are. However no one else is going to get this rabble sorted so you need to take the lead especially if there are young children involved. Help keep any youngsters calm (you're going to be slightly tied up once the festivities commence so appoint another of the groom's party to look after them during the ceremony) and make sure everyone knows their role, what to do and when and where to do it.
Seems simple enough to look after the rings (although no doubt you'll be checking your pockets every five minutes) but here's one tip for you; its quite likely that either the bride or groom, quite possibly both, will be a little bit nervous and have sweaty, shaking hands. When asked to present the rings rather than just present the ring box have each ring ready and placed on the flat of your open palm so that the bride and groom are not having to fiddle around getting them out the box with their trembling fingers.
You can pretty much guarantee that at the precise moment the photographer has finally got everyone assembled for that all important team photo someone will suddenly notice that the bride's favourite Aunty Ethel is missing. Wedding photos can often really drag out so if possible make yourself known to the photographer beforehand and offer your services for crowd control, this is an often overlooked but really helpful part of your best man duties.
As soon as everyone is filing out of the church or wedding venue make sure you get everyone of note ready to step into the appropriate shots.
Master of Ceremonies
The wedding might not have its own master of ceremonies so this might be a role that falls to you, asking for hush and announcing the father of the bride and groom before they stand to give their speeches.
Best Man's Speech
The poisoned chalice of having to be best man is both a blessing and a curse, whilst it is a great source of pride that your mate/brother/cousin has finally admitted that in fact YOU are the Best Man it now means you have to write that perfect Best Man's Speech... and then stand up in front of a room full of strangers and make everyone laugh whilst not offending the groom, bride, any of the parents, the grandparents, the vicar, etc.
If this is already causing you sleepless nights then fear no more as our SpeechBuilder could be the answer to all your worries.
Get the Party Started
Having wowed everyone with the funniest wedding speech of all time you are probably desperate to hit the bar for that well earned drink and to bask in the limelight whilst comtemplating your future career in sand-up comedy. Sadly there are still a few best man duties the perfect Best Man will attend to.
Once the new Mr & Mrs have had their first dance it is traditional for the Best Man to dance with the chief bridesmaid (as best man duties go this can either be a blessing or a very long 3 minutes depending on who the bride selected). Even if you're not a dancing man make sure you help to break the ice, make everyone feel at home and get the party into full swing.
Also during the reception the bride and groom shouldn't be bothered with any concerns or queries that the DJ, caterers, bar staff, band, etc might have. Be on hand to answer any questions and if you're not sure of the exact answers then consult with the bride's parents or the bridesmaids to solve any problems so the main attraction can concentrate on enjoying their evening.
Is there are mountain of gifts building up on a table somewhere? There's possibly far too many for the bride and groom to carry on their own so with the help of the other groomsman and bridesmaids help carry any wedding gifts to the bridal suite or waiting car.
It is traditional for the wedding car the bride and groom will drive off in to be appropriately adorned with trappings announcing their newly married status so be sure to get busy with the shaving foam and other trimmings.