The wedding speech specialists

The 10 Commandments

Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not mention the stag do. What happens in Skegness stays in Skegness.

Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not use thine speech to offer thy services to the bridesmaids.

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Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not refer to the bride as "...back when she was a looker..."

Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not swear, it's not f**king big and it's not f**king clever.

Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not finish thy best man's speech with a rousing chorus of "It Was on the Good Ship Venus".

Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not get drunk and make an arse of thyself.

Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou shall tell no stories about the groom that include the words "...he was so pissed..."

Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not mention any of groom’s ex-girlfriends. Even the munters.

Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not perform thy speech using the medium of interpretive dance.

Best Man 10 Commandments

Thou is permitted to perform the robot if thy speech goes fantastically well (although you might look like a bit of a tit).

Pointless Best Man Trivia

The marriage of Wills & Kate was the highest viewed TV event in history. Its estimated a staggering 2 billion people around the world tuned in to watch William Windsor, the future King of England marry Kate Middleton at London’s Westminster Abbey and then kiss her twice on the balcony (and no that isn’t a euphemism).



In ancient Egypt men preferred not to deflower their brides personally. Instead they hired a servant to undertake the chore.

A groom Vlad Chordilovich, 24 who forced his wife to take a lie detector test has been dumped after his bride Nikita Bayanova caught him having sex with a bridesmaid at their wedding in Russia.


Despite the claims of many internet sites it’s not true that the role of best man comes from having helped the groom kidnap his bride during Anglo-Saxon England or in ancient Scotland. Pagan weddings traditionally never included a Best Man. During the middle ages at Christian weddings, the groom was not permitted to bear arms in church so he would appoint his “best man” for his and his bride’s protection. In battle when armies formed shield walls a fighter’s right arm held his sword while the left gripped his shield meaning the his right side was the most vulnerable to attack hence the need to have his best man or most trusted friend “right hand man” originates. This is one of the reasons the Best Man stands on the right hand side of the groom. However even if things get tense on the big day and battle lines are drawn, its best not to let out a blood curdling scream and leap into battle with your friend’s soon to be mother-in-law no matter how much she might resemble Hagar the Horrible.


The Fijians believe that the god Nangganangga, who watches over married couples, will not let a bachelor enter Fijian paradise and will turn him to ash if he dies before he is married. So if you are Best Man at a Fijian wedding and still single you’d better bag yourself a bridesmaid quick!

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Best man Gavin Bell took a cardboard cut-out of Gareth Hale around Berlin after the groom missed his own bachelor party. Gavin was the only one of the 14 man stag party to make it to the German capital after the eruption of an Icelandic volcano caused the cancellation of the rest of the groups’ flights. But Gavin didn’t want his friend to miss out, so made a mini-model of the groom which he then carried around and photographed by the city's tourist spots.


In Sudan in 2006 a man caught having sex with his neighbour’s goat was forced to marry it and pay a dowry to its former owner.


A Malaysian man holds the record for being the best man at over 1000 weddings.


Beware of the bubbly! Statistically more people are killed around the world each year by champagne corks than poisonous spiders.

A fuming Scottish bride decked her hubby when he sat on her knee and left and skidmark on her pristine wedding dress. Like a true Scotsman Angus McClure didn't wear anything under his kilt when he married Sarah Grant in Greenock, Scotland. But things went slightly awry and her right hook sparked mayhem between the two well refreshed clans. Police were called and in total 7 arrests were made. Angus and Sarah kissed and made up, no doubt he'll be getting a pair of boxer shorts this Christmas.

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